Ep 11: Success and Money

Sarah leads us off today by posing the question “Can anyone be a successful author?” which, of course, leads into a discussion of what success means. Is it being published? Is it being a bestseller? Is it great reviews?

And, if you answered “Success equals money”, then we address that in more detail. What are realistic expectations about earnings?

We then play a rollicking game of The Storymatic, where we cast aspersions on Abraham Lincoln. Your story, dear listeners, must include the a dropout, a prodigy, one half of a ripped love letter, and a talent show. There must be a woman with a mustache, but she cannot be made fun of, and the story must take place in a closed system–no one can go in or out.

To listen, use the media player below, or download here, or subscribe to us on iTunes.

Some music from today‚Äôs episode (used under a Creative Commons license): Cafe Budapest, I Don’t Want Luv, and Test Drive, all by Zapac.

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4 Responses to “Ep 11: Success and Money”

  1. Krista
    April 6, 2011 at 5:54 pm #

    “Aurrgh, and there be no casting aspersions on the Captain! That ye must remember, or ye’ll be taking the long walk off the short plank.”
    Rob looked at Marion, then back to the first mate of the pirate ship, All Lace & Pieces of Eight. “Mister Bellyup, what would we be makin’ fun of the Captain for?” They weren’t stupid men. In fact, one of them was a prodigy in the comings and goings of etrade. The other, a fresh drop-out from the marketing district, bored with the mundane cart-pool to the city (I’ll let you decide which one is which). Both of them signed on to the Lace & Eight hoping for adventure and a bit of lolly.
    Bellyup nodded, peering at them with his one good eye, pulling up at the waistline of his pants. The man was in desperate need of a belt. “Aye, that be the test, then , aren’t it?” He leaned forward, his breath rancid through his remaining blackened teeth. Marion was glad he’d packed his toothbrush. “Let’s be hopin’ ye pass, or the short plank’ll be a pleasure stroll.” He laughed and the newest crew members adjusted their neckerchiefs.
    “Gentlemen, have ye anymore questions?”
    Rob raised his hand and Bellyup looked like he would cut it off. Rob dropped it quickly. “When do we get pirate names, sir?”
    Bellyup narrowed his eye. “Aurrgh, so ye be wantin’ pirate names?”
    Both men nodded eagerly.
    Bellyup stepped forward, drawing his Arabian sword, and elegantly brandished it a hairswidth from both men’s necks. He sneered. “Ye’ll be getting names when ye be provin’ yerselves worthy of’em, and not one shackle sooner.”
    The men swallowed and nodded as well as they could with a blade at their throats. Bellyup chuckled. “Happy day that’ll be, won’t it, men?”
    The men nodded again and Bellyup stepped back, sheathing his weapon. “Now, anymore questions before ye be meetin’ the captain?”
    Rob went to raise his hand again and Marion yanked it down. “None, sir.” Rob frowned and made a mental note to give Marion a hard time about whether or not social media makes a difference in book sales the next time they were alone.
    “Gentlemen,” Bellyup removed his cap, revealing a greyed comb-over, ” I give you . . . Captain Saraphim of the Lace and Eight.” He swooped low in a dramatic bow. Peering up at them through his strands of hanging hair, he gestured for them to bow in the same manner. They did at once.
    Deliberate footsteps could be heard entering the deck from the galleys below, and a slight rustle.
    “What have you got for me, Belly?” Both men lifted their eyes at the voice, authoritative and surprisingly soprano. “Great Neptune, where did you find these two, the university?”
    Bellyup cleared his throat and Rob lowered his eyes immediately, but Marion stared outright at the woman in full pirate captain’s garb, tricked out with black lace. It was not the lace that held his attention.
    The captain’s feminine brow arched. “What is it?”
    Bellyup cleared his throat again and made a surreptitious slashing movement across his neck. Marion didn’t seem to see it.
    “You’ve got . . .” His finger came up and brushed absently at the corner of his upper lip, “just there, you’ve got–”
    Before he could continue, Rob elbowed him in the ribs and sneezed hard. “NOASPERSIONS!”
    Marion blinked out of his trance and swallowed, lowering his eyes again with a bow.
    “Gesundheit,” offered Captain Saraphim. She turned to Bellyup. “Well done, Belly. Now, I need you to return this to that rotten Blackbeard and tell him what he can do with the other half.”
    Belly took the torn love-letter, saluted, and his pants dropped to his knees.
    “And for Turner’s sake, get yourself a belt.”

    *I’d like to apologize for giving Sarah a mustache.* *bows low*

  2. Heidi
    April 6, 2011 at 9:08 pm #

    Loved how candid and specific this information was. Very useful. Thanks.

  3. B.A. Matthews
    April 12, 2011 at 4:55 am #

    I just wanted to let you guys know that I couldn’t put a review in itunes but to make up for it, I wrote up a review of your show in my blog… the address to it is above. I figure I may not be able to put it on itunes, but I can at least let all of my followers know that they should come here to listen to this incredible podcast!

  4. Mark VanTassel
    May 4, 2011 at 8:51 pm #

    This was a very helpful episode. I’d like to second Heidi’s comment.
    Also: To the host’s previous comments on networking, I found your podcast through Writing Excuses and now intend to be a regular listener.
    Thank you.

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